The World Is a Little Less Bright Today


Jessica said...

What an exciting time in my life: driving around late at night, listening to music, flirting with boys, drinking... My friend had met a guy on the internet and decided that we were going to hang out with him one weekend. I had no idea that my life was going to change forever that weekend.

I met Sean when I was 18. We drank Mike's Hard Lemonade and laughed at each other for hours. After that, we spent every weekend together. He worked in Harrisburg throughout the week; I worked in Greentree, so we were only able to see each other on Friday night and through Saturday. I fell in love with him. He loved me back. We would spend hours on the phone when he was away and hours in bed when he was home.

We found out after the honeymoon period of our relationship that we were explosive together. Our first fight was the most intense, emotional fight I had ever been in. We spat hatred at each other that we never thought possible. I was gathering my things when he told me "It's you and me Jessica, it will always be you and me!" (He only called me Jessica when he was serious.) I stopped dead in my tracks and said back to him "we are going to ruin each other." He laughed, agreed, and then kissed me. That was the first of many, many fights. One of us would finally give in every time and say "it's you and me, it will always be you and me.”

We spent 5 years yelling and loving each other... when we were up, we were UP; and when we were down, we were DOWN... We knew that we were the best and the worst people for each other and eventually the fights stopped ending with "It's you and me."

It's been 4 1/2 years since we saw each other last. We had coffee in the city that we shared and apologized for everything that we had gone through.

When I was walking away from him for what I knew was the last time, I was 23 years old. Just as he was almost out of sight, he yelled to me "It's you and me Jessica, it will always be you and me!" He changed my life. He was an asshole and my best friend. We wanted a forever together that wasn't possible and we knew it. I could write a book about those 5 years we were together; but I won't. Those memories are mine. We shared things we vowed were only for each other and I am committed to that promise.

I know that he went on to meet new people; I don't know anything about who he became or where he went. I lost Sean a long time ago. To his friends that have lost him recently, I'm sorry for your pain and hope that whatever he meant to you, what you shared with him, and the part of your life that he was in was as exciting and explosive.

Anonymous said...

If this is true, why is there no record of his death? There is no obituary or public record of his death... I mean it's been a few weeks.

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