Am I Crazy? - the dreaded "Ex Factor" at 5:27 PM

Question Submitted:

Is it okay that I'm bothered by the fact my ex (he dumped me in Dec.) was cheating on me with his ex? I'm not 100% positive about this. I just know that right after we ended, he posted a pic of the two of them on his website. This pic was an old one, I think...about three months ago, he posted another pic of them, in the apartment he was forced to get when she kicked him out after cheating on him, over a year ago.(this is what he told me.) Am I crazy for thinking this? (Don't answer that part, Sean...I know your thoughts on the subject of my sanity.) And on a side note, does this mean I don't love my [current] boyfriend? *sigh* I have issues. Lol.

~Manda Renee~

Sean's Answer

Amanda,

Were you fucking drunk when you wrote this question? High? Seriously, give your head a shake. And hope no brains fall out. You dated me, so right off the bat we know you have piss poor taste in men. Piss. Poor. But fact of the matter is, I know you're an intelligent girl, in fact, one of the most intelligent women I have dated. But you do lack the common sense to make that intelligence the complete package. You're fairly sure your ex-boyfriend was cheating on you? And your still thinking about him? At this point, who gives a fuck? Why do you care? And what difference does it make, then or now? You're in a new relationship (Ms. Co-dependent) that you seem happy in, don't let past relationships dictate future ones (Unless said relationship was the one with me. Then, beware). It's totally normal to have questions about the past and what exactly went on, that's human nature to be inquisitive, especially when it involves whether or not a previous partner was faithful. But to allow that past to, in any way, affect a future relationship is un-fucking-healthy. Do you remember what I did when we split up? I walked the fuck away. Did I have questions? Sure. Did I want answers? Yes. But it wasn't worth jeopardizing a future relationship for. I suggest you follow my lead. It may hurt at times, it may piss you off at times, it may drive you insane, but leave the past out of your future. Otherwise your future will turn out the same as your past, through no fault of your current boyfriend. Oh yeah, and go get fucking tested while you're at it.

Liquor. And. Whores.
-Sean. Since 1980.

P.S. We know you have issues. That is apparent.

Katie's Answer:

Dear Manda,

Do you drive your car down the highway while facing backward? No! Do you know why? Because then you'll wreck from the front; where everything new is coming from. Whether we want to or not, we're always going to have some sort of feelings for previous significant other's. Right after a breakup happens, we tend to be really angry and upset over all of the bad things the person did to us. It actually damages a part of our emotions. The brain's natural reaction to this is to fix it; so it forgets the bad, and remembers the good.

Even after you wrote this, I'm wondering if you read it over. If not, do it now. Pretend you didn't write it.

You're telling me your boyfriend cheated on you with his ex most likely. Anyone that considers you to be second best is not worth your time or emotions.

There's nothing wrong with you. You're absolutely normal, you're a good person and probably are overwhelmed at times with the good times that you and your ex had.

Also, "does this mean I'm not in love with my boyfriend?"

No, it doesn't mean that, but I don't know how you feel about it. But simply because you're missing someone from the past a little isn't bad. It's okay to look to the past, but don't spend too much time there. You only have control over the future.

If you are have questions about your relationship now, I'd consider talking to your boyfriend. :)

Always. Move. Forward.
-Katie